I am not a happy person right now

Ok, so, epically awesome time last night then fun hanging with my sister. I come home to check a blog and find bullshit? STOP WASTING YOUR TIME HATING ON HER AND HER BOYFRIEND. I am so sick of having to stick up for women that I admire when they don't even know who I am (much less care). I'm not wasting my time like the pathetic people that talk shit all over the internet; I'm trying to show my support by defending them. I stuck up for Audrey with all the "Brendon-this, Brendon-that" shit started and she.doesn't.want.to.talk.about.it. Then Lana Jade last year with that blog (we've actually talked a couple of times and she appreciates what I've said - she has also returned the gesture). I can't tell you guys how pissed I'm getting; listening to "Northern Downpour" is making it worse. To think people call themselves "fans" then attack the band members' girlfriends is beyond me. Now granted, Haley and Cassie aren't in the industry, but that still doesn't give anyone the right to blast Keltie like they did in her blog. I don't care; no one talks any shit about Haley and Cassie, even with the rumors that all of them except Spencer have cheated on their girlfriend. Give Keltie the same respect you give the others. I've even gone so far as to send Keltie a message saying that I apologize on behalf of the SANE Panic fans. To say the least, Panic fans are fucking crazy and it sucks for those of us that don't stalk them and do other shit like that. Ya know, sometimes I'm ashamed to call myself a Panic fan. Why do you think they don't come out after shows like they used to? Exactly.

What pissed me off the most was that my new friend Melissa told me last night that at a show, the crowd pulled William in and ripped his shirt off. He was so upset after. Yeah, FANS ARE FUCKING CRAZY. I was so damn appalled.

*breathes*

My show was epic. I just had such a great time. Got some pretty good pics (you'll have to check my LJ for those ;]).

Oh, so, meeting the guy was...fun. We've hung out twice and I'm starting to think that we'd just be good as friends. He's just...not a musician. Like, I have this picture perfect image of who my dream guy is. But seriously? I should just stop with that. The world will not happen the way I want it. Yeah, I don't mind so much; I just wish things were different.

There's a possibility that I'm gonna be on Warped next year. Kids of Survival, remember them? Yeah, their next tour might be Warped and I told Dylan I'm totally up for doing merch. Spending the summer in a van with four boys with the guarentee of not showering everyday? COUNT ME IN. That's totally my dream.

"Winter Passing" is such a beautiful song. ily, WB.

Peace.Love.Dez.

The Girl Who Played The Field And Lost

This girl. This field star, hello night, goodbye light girl was just that: playing the field. She spent her school days searching for that one knight in shining armour, her one prince charming. Summer days spent wasting away, causing daydreams to numb the pain. Vintage Vinyl opened her eyes. Spinning records, scratched vinyls, and busted 8tracks cast the spell to start it all. They brought her that perfect summer daydream. That boy. That ADHD, hello love, goodbye like boy came from the sky. He shook her hand but got her heart. Together, they spent the rest of summer wasting away. Weeks became months, months equalled love. That boy. That sweet, hello smiles, goodbye frowns boy turned out to be a loser in tinfoil. He left her standing under a tree - you know the one. The same one she refuses to go near to this day. She spent days upon days waiting for new from the boy (but she knew time not enjoyed wasted was still wasted). The girl gave up, throwing herself into her writing when Vintage Vinyl called for her yet again. The boy. The older, hello mending, goodbye break boy took her heart and prevented further damage. His career took him away, but his heart always brought him back to her. After creating a summer love, they decided to go their separate ways but remain friends (sometime later, the boy confessed that although he had another, his heart would always be attached to her). This girl. This lonely, hello permanent heartbreak, goodbye constant love girl gave up. She was taken off of the field and put on the sidelines.

That's something I wrote September 9th. It's a short story that coincides with a fanfic I'm writing. The title used to be The Girl Who Played The Sidelines And Lost but I promised my co-worker and friend, Dee, that I'd write a sequel to this so that will be about the girl playing the sidelines and winning. It has nothing to do with my personal life; purely fiction.

So, today I'm meeting someone who could be so good for me. We like the same things (I never thought I'd hear a guy admit he likes Panic) and we're random. We've sent like, over 300 texts back and forth since Saturday night. And I'm not like my sister; my friend, Katy, is hooking us up. But Katy tells me I'm in for a few surprises tonight. I guess I'll update tomorrow or something with how that goes.

I had one of the worst dreams of my life Monday night: my middle sister, Robin, and I were at the Hawthorne Heights show that we're going to November 25th but it was like an outdoor festival during the summer. So, we're standing side-stage and all of a sudden, I look next to her and Casey Calvert is standing right there. I just stare at him cause it's so unreal. She goes, "This is my 'imaginary friend', the person I've been talking to all that time" cause I'm guessing she was psychic. So I start crying and he just hugs me. I'm all like, "I've been wanting to meet you for forever" and he says the same to me. I hate my brain for doing that to me. I get so emotional when it comes to Casey.

HOLY SHIT. "It's Almost Halloween" just came on my laptop. The first time I saw the video, I laughed so hard I fell off of my chair. Who can blame me? It's funny stuff. I so wish I was there for the Halloween show but I was having an awesome time at Dorney Park (then at my RBL show two days later).

Thinking about that made me think about "Shout" which makes me want to watch Animal House so bad. I think I'm gonna watch it when I'm done with this.

I was watching the South Park movie Monday morning (let's say five-ish) and I thought about my co-worker and friend Jessica (who happens to have the same birthday as me) because she's Canadian. I love Canada. I used to be weird; reading books about the country and practically obsessing over it. And who can forget Degrassi every Friday night at eight on The N (or re-runs everyday)? I stopped watching Degrassi after they killed JT and made Craig a drug addicted rock star. I was actually supposed to go to Ottowa to visit my friend Nikki one year. She moved back to Brooklyn so that was a "no".

If anyone has seen my Twitter, you know how much I whore out Kids of Survival. Well, I've known those guys for almost 5 years. I met Dylan (the drummer) in high school freshman year, thus meeting the rest of the band at my first show of theirs (back when they were Stiffler). They've become some of my best friends (and four of the few guys friends I have). They really are great guys and spectacular musicians. They're currently working on their next album but check out their MySpace and tell them Dez sent you. I promise you won't be disappointed.

I'm actually gonna go watch Animal House and maybe write for a bit before Katy gets here around 3:30.

Peace.Love.Dez.

Dressed To Kill or Dressed To Impress

So, my first blog. What fun. I don't really blog much anymore...*shrugs* I'm kinda lame in my own special way.

If there's one thing you all could learn from me today, it's to watch The Rocket Summer's video for "Do You Feel" Learn something from that video, that song, and the album. Bryce amazes me with his lyrics. He has become one of my favorite artists since I saw him opening for TAI last October.

Speaking of TAI, I'm going back to where I first saw them as a fan on Saturday. I think I'd be weirded out if it were the same date. And I am absolutely in love with the "About A Girl" video, although I think it goes with "His Girl Friday" better.

We switched to Verizon FIOS on Saturday and I've been living it up watching music videos on demand. Right now it's Bob Dylan's "Dreamin' of You". What can I say? I've been schooling myself since my parents' taste in music sucks.

I seriously am so in love with Pink's video for "So What". I think Carey's a great guy for being in the video, even though he hadn't heard the song before that day. I'm starting to really admire Pink. I think I should look up to more women in my life.

So, I'm pissed off at one of my best friends. She got meet n greet for our RBL date. One, she's not even in Northern Downpour and two, she doesn't even like Panic. Not even kidding. She's besties with The Cab (and a ton of other bands but they aren't important at this minute) and of course, she heard about the whole Brendon-sleeping-with-Johnson's-girlfriend-thing from Johnson so she kinda seriously hates Brendon. Like, no lie. She knows I'm pissed at her and we haven't spoken in nine days. It's not like she couldn't have met them any other time what with being friends with The Cab and all.

Oh, oh, oh. So, anyone that uses LiveJournal on here knows about all the icon communities and stuff, that you have to credit when you take something. Well, I added this girl because her icons are rad and I love them. I was looking through an entry and came across a performance picture of Brendon that looked way too familiar for my liking so I commented asking where she got it (which she still hasn't commented back). I looked through my albums on MySpace, thinking I took it, but couldn't find it. Then I was looking through journal entries to delete some when I came across my HCT review and sure enough, I took the damn picture. I'm actually pretty cool with people taking my pictures and using them for icons and other stuff, but at least give me some credit when I got kicked in the head during their set and had a panic attack during Phantom Planet. You want credit? Great. I'll give it to you. But give the people that actually take the damn pictures some, too. I'm tagging my shit from now on. Maybe if I trust you you'll get the original.

People just piss me off.

Well, until the next time I feel like ranting and raving like an idiot (or can't sleep, who knows).

If you're interested in seeing my LiveJournal, just ask for my username and I'll give it to you. Also, feel free to ask for my MySpace, Facebook and Twitter.

Peace.Love.Dez.